A Taste of Foster Care

I got the honor and privilege of keeping 2 sweet boys on Thursday and Friday. These boys are in the foster care system. They already have a foster family, but the family had lost a family member and needed to leave town, so they needed help with the children. We are going through Children's Home of Lubbock, and they called me and asked if I could help and jumped to the opportunity! They had found placement for the other children, but needed somebody to take the 2 younger boys. They were 3 and 4 years old. (I don't believe I am able to put their names or pictures on here, sorry!)

I picked them up on Thursday at day care and they came running to me like they knew me, and was so excited! That was nice, because it did make the transition really easy. But that also caught me off guard. I didn't know if that was just their personality or was it that they had been passed around so much from family to family. I have no idea. I know nothing about their past or why they are in foster care. So we got in the car and came home and they went directly to the kitchen table, they were hungry! So we got a snack and they wanted more and more. I finally had to stop giving them food! Thought maybe they ate so fast that they thought they were still hungry. So I made them wait. It wasn't 15 minutes and they were already asking for more food. It was like this ALL weekend. We could eat a meal and their little bellies would be so full and they would want to eat again. Like I said I don't know there past, but it just seemed to me they were trying to eat all they could because they didn't know when there next meal would be. It just broke my heart! We went to go see Holly and Cash and let the boys play, and they had so much fun! We took them to the park and they loved it! The next day I took them to the store to pick out some toys. They did pick out there toy but they were more interested in getting food than the toys! It was all I could do not to cry in the store! It was just so sad! I know I was just keeping them for a few days, but I want them to feel loved and safe, and know that they will be provided for. I just want them to be little boys.

We had a good 2 days. It was hard to see them go. The oldest little boy cried when I told him he was going back. He was crying and told me he wanted to stay with me, then I started crying! So we gathered all of our stuff up and I took them back. And when he got there he was fine, and started playing. All in all it was a good 2 days, and an experience I will NEVER forget!

Class of 2001 - 10 year reunion

Amber, Me and Clifton

Class of 2001

Kelly, DeShira, and I

Dixie, me, and Erin

Erin and I

Curtis and I

Me, Dixie, and Curtis

Amber and I

I just had my 10 year reunion! Kinda sad that it has been 10 years but was so good to see everybody that came and missed everybody that wasn't able to make it! We had so much fun catching up, I think we were all talking nonstop trying to find out about each others lives from the past 10 years! A few of us made it to the parade and pep rally and then we met up at the game. Saturday night we met up at Zeke's barracks and cooked out and had a dance! We had so much fun, hopefully we can all get together before the next 10 years!

Which Path??

Just to fill you in on a little bit because I know there has been lots of questions and stuff so here it is.....

In May of 2010 we decided to try and start adding to our family! And much to my surprise things didn't turn out quite like I had planned (like I said "I" had planned) From May of 2010 to May of 2011 I had lost 3 sweet precious babies. I can't wait to meet them and hold them in my arms some day. But I know they are in the arms of our creator! Even with all the "girl issues" I have had in the past, I honestly never expected to go down this road.

I knew it at the time but looking back I can REALLY see God's hand in things. He placed certain women in my life that had gone through the same thing that I was going through. One after the other I kept meeting these women. I knew it wasn't a mistake, but just didn't realize what role they would end up playing.

I have gone through every emotion possible! I have been mad, sad, bitter, you name it and I have gone through it. I have yelled at God, not talked to God, but that didn't seem to help either. There were moments that I would have peace but then I let the devil step in and I would get mad when another coworker got pregnant, see a teenager having a baby, even just seeing pregnant women out in public made me want to scream! I grew so angry and bitter inside. I HATED feeling this way. And actually last week I read a book that Bobbie Sparks wrote called "Memory Memoirs" and it literally feels like 100 pounds of weight was lifted off of my shoulders! I have more peace now, than I have ever felt, and it feels GREAT! I have such a peace about everything. Something I haven't felt in so long. I look at suffering completely different now because of that book.

I know that it wasn't a coincidence, but the week before I read this book I placed a child in her mothers arms for the last time and turned off all of the machines. That day I also found out that my coworker had cancer. And all I could think of is "what am I complaining about??!!!" There are people all around me that are going through such life changing events and I'm sitting in the corner crying because my fertility treatment didn't work. Then I read the book, and it changed me, inside and out.

In the middle of all of this we got an infant in the PICU that was abused. (don't even get me started on that subject!) and me and this little boy bonded the first moment my eyes laid on him. He left just after a few short days, just to come back to us by the end of the week. There was something about this baby that I was so attached to! Make a long story short, I talked to James and we agreed to try and foster this baby. We knew it was a long shot because we weren't licensed to foster. I called and talked to everybody and it just didn't work out. BUT maybe he was just the seed that needed planted. So, we are now in the process of getting our foster care license.

So which path will God lead us down? I have not a clue! haha But I trust God has his hand in all of this!

Vacation

So we took the girls on a little vacation before they went back to school. We went to Ruidoso and did lots of exploring and hiking! Then we took them the Carlsbad caverns. As Ashley called it "Charlesbad Cabin" Here are a few pictures of our week long adventure!

Jamie and Ashley on lava rocks

James and the girls at white sands. Very fun!

Me and James

They were getting a little close to the edge for me!

A New Start

Well, here is to starting a new blog! Not sure if i'm going to be good at this but I will do my best to stay caught up! To be honest, im not sure if I have anything interesting enough to say! But here we go.....